


You can rely on me (I'll give you all you need)

by immcrtal



Series: we won't burn out [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff with a hint of angst, or maybe its the other way around
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 04:11:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19738051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immcrtal/pseuds/immcrtal
Summary: "Would you hate me if I stopped being Spider-Man?" He blurts out without meaning to.





	You can rely on me (I'll give you all you need)

“Would you hate me if I stopped being Spider-Man? He asks.

* * *

Peter has been beaten more times than his brain can possibly acknowledge. His body at this point is like fucking outer space, mapped with constellations of bruises and fine lines, that have slowly but surely, stolen parts of him through time. His cheekbone has been broken more times than he lets on, and his fingers have bled more than he can count. He has bled over MJ’s floor more time than he’s ever seen her parents, and had her and Ned patch him up more times than they’ve actually all hung out together without getting attacked or him being pulled away by his heroic duties.

And he’s only 18. He hasn’t even started living _his_ life and yet he can already feel his youth slipping away from his grasp. 

The thought of leaving _it_ all behind haunts him for a week, before he starts actually considering it. 

* * *

Could he stop being Spider-Man? No 

_No!_

_No, that’s absurd,_ he thinks to himself.

It’s absolutely absurd, the city needs him, the world needs him. He can’t just leave everything behind, because _he_ feels overwhelmed.

He can’t. _Can he?_

* * *

That’s how the question pops up during one of his and MJ’s (rare) lazy nights. 

* * *

They’re in her bed, tangled up in sheets and limbs, while she caresses his back, and he loosely drapes his arm around her waist. 

"Would you hate me if I stopped being Spider-Man?" He blurts out without meaning to. Her movement stutter, before she asks him softly where this is coming from. He shrugs as a response. She doesn't need to worry for no reason. When he arches a brow at her, urging her to voice her thoughts, she lets up she says. "No, I wouldn't Peter, because it would be your choice, on the behalf of your capactities and powers. I'd respect it and you."

“Shouldn’t I feel grateful though, instead of even thinking about this and leaving these powers in the past?” He asks in such a whisper, that he’s sure she has to stop breathing to hear it. And she does.

She draws in a breath and tucks his head underneath her chin. _“Peter..._ You shouldn’t let your powers, and the idea of luck, decide how you should feel. You are your _own_ person, you have to learn how to prioritize yourself over what others might think regarding Spider-Man, what you’ve done, and what you can do for our world.”

“You are Spider-Man, Peter, but you’re also Peter Parker. You are not invincible despite what you might think sometimes, -and he can hear the smile in her voice with that. You are not _emotion, feelings proof_ , you are not obligated to be okay, and be the only one holding the world together by two threads of webs. Other heroes exist, they can help while you fall apart a bit.”

She lets out softly against his hair. Her hands stroke lazily down his naked back. “So you’re saying I should quit being Spider-Man..?” He asks, because he needs something to guide him and help him, and despite her words he still feels a sense of ambivalence towards the answered question.

Her fingers tense for a moment, before resuming their movement along his back. 

“I won’t lie when I say it wouldn’t be nice to not find my boyfriend bleeding out on my brand new rug once in a while, or not be worried that he hasn’t died under a collapsed building, or not die thinking over all the guilt he has collected from his numerous top secret missions-” She stops herself, to push herself back. She’s practically sitting up, with his arms still wrapped around her waist. She looks at him softly, with a hint of sadness in her eyes. 

The fingers from the hand that isn't caressing his back touch his chin. Feather light. Her fingers trace the shape of his nose, the curve of his mouth, his brows, as if to make sure he’s here right now alive, and listening to her. “But this isn’t about me, as much as I want to be selfish right now-” her words hit him like a ton of bricks, and he tugs her closer, enveloping his arms tightly around her waist. “This is about you. What do you want? What do you need? Would you be happy to give it all up? What does Peter Parker need?”

He hesitates. 

“There’s your answer.” She says leaning down and pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “But it can’t be that simple.” His mouth lets out.

“It isn’t, but I _know_ you Parker, no matter how hard it gets, I know your will to help won’t ever stop. You’d help the world even if you didn’t have a radioactive spider bite helping you acquire some extra senses. It’s just _who_ you are Peter.”

And he raises his face to look at her, and _god when did he get so lucky?_ She has brightened up his world so much, and he is forever glad she exists. 

“Gee who would’ve thought you’d have a soft spot and such kind words for Peter Parker?” He asks, smiling. 

She laughs softly. “Well, I might have to kill you if you ever let said person know about any of the previous statements.”

And he raises himself to mirror her position. His thighs find a spot at the side of her hips. And she smiles at the fact that for once she is the one that has to tip her head back a bit. He chuckles, and grasp the back of her to angle her mouth to his descending lips. 

* * *

“Cross my heart and hope to die.” He whispers before kissing her.

**Author's Note:**

> once again this is something that I wrote in a rush of feelings and lack of sleep but enjoy!
> 
> kudos and comments are always appreciated <3


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